Another Who's Presence Is by Very Shy

How could one such as you
ever come across my path twice.

Your light came.
I am numb
unbelieving my good fortune
scared shitless
afraid to breathe lest I shatter the dream.

I was swept away long ago
by your mystery.
Your beauty I could see then
and you enchanted me.

Then all was lost
and bewildered I went on
trying to find a balm
for an occulted heart.
Throughout, though I beared a light,
the slightest hope
(some romantics are hopeless).

And again you are here
in my mind and heart.

You make me feel naked
past my jaded boundaries,
I try to be open but I feel vulnerable.

My defenses alight
fear and revulsion I beknight.
These mostly dormant when I'm alone with you,
strike up a chorus
at the worst times.

Callousness,
the dernier recours of a soul in pain,
rears it's ugly head.
Worse than an addiction
it is the wall that keeps the pain out.
I am crippled by this crutch
too far gone to begin to reflect
the splendor in you that I see.

This defense slowly softens under your tender love,
I begin to feel more worthy,
And someday maybe
I can truly be here with you.

I joke around, and hollow sounds
fall flat in the air.
A spark at times cuts the shallow world
Then I see you shine.
Joyful, a laugh bursts forth,
and pure and simple mirth
chimes through the space
and I know I'm in the presence of an angel.

For me, a vision ineffable
the goddess incarnate.
How can I
with clumsy thoughts, bumbling words
and fumbling hands
begin to express
my deepest admiration.

I don't believe you always see
your own beauty.
Few make it
in this oh so sad world.

No stranger to suffering, still
with a realistic view
and the courage to continue
you persevere.
I am truly awed.
This you have done
and excelled,
always charitable
resisting the easy path
always climbing ever higher
though the tumults rained
upon your exquisite sensitivity.
Someday you will reach
perfect freedom.

Your burdens take their toll.
For one so open to everything around
It's not surprising.
What is amazing,
is that you don't give in.
That courage can only come from
a divine love well-spring.

I know I'm not dreaming,
but the reality is ethereal
To have the chance to hold you again
this is far too much to be true
yet it is.

Slowly it sinks in,
and slowly I can begin to relax
knowing that perhaps I have found a friend
into who's care I can entrust
the delicate stuff.
Another soul
who's immortality echoes.
Another
who's presence is.

nila (195.93.33.14) -- Sunday, September 12 2004, 03:45 am

"wow"
how amazing is your mind,your poems are out of this world,i look forward to reading more,who ever you wrote this poem about is a very lucky person,

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