It's been five years since I've been kicked out
I never fully knew just what that night was all about
I took it on myself, it's time to get a clue
I had to go and ask, the only one that knew
I drove for several hours, to go and find my dad
To find out why, he was so damn mad
I pulled up to the house that I grew up in
But it wasn't like, it had always been

Vines covered the walls, crows were in the trees
Windows were broken, the air began to freeze
The house was left to rot, vandals sprayed the sides
This was the yard, my father gave me rides
I stepped in the house, the door left it's hinge
Straight across the floor, was a used syringe
This was the room that I played with my toys
I still hear my mom, "Take this to the boys"

I went through the house, stuff was still all there
But vandals slashed it up, like they didn't care
I found a picture, when I hit my room
Of me in my teens, this felt like a tomb
I flipped it around, a note was on the side
As I read it all, I just hurt inside
"Josh I'm so sorry, my mind just lost it's track
I hurt all of you, there's no bringing you back"

"I feel so ashamed, but lack the strength to quit
I guess the first step, is the fact I could admit
Doing so much wrong, never seeing right
I know that what I've done, kept you from the light
I regret that you aren't here, to say this to your face
This shot is for you, I know I'm a discrace
You hated me more, than words could describe
I could always tell, I could read the vibe"

"I was blessed with a son, that could endure strife
Beyond what one should, their entire life
Your brother moved away, your sister moved away
Your mom, she overdosed, I don't know why I stay
I guess I hope for you, to show up at my door
So we can have the times, we had once before
You deserved better, than I could just provide
I'm loading up the eagle, just know that I tried"

"I hope that when you die, you won't think less of me
And we can rejoyce, that we both are free
I deserve this pain, and just so much worse
I wish I could go back, and make that shit reverse
If I go to hell, I deserve the flame
For what I did to you, and hurting our name
I regret that I, can't look upon your face
But it's time for me, to find the Perfect Place."

My dad really cared? My family missed me?
My mom overdosed? How can this be?
Tears fell from my eyes, I punched the f*ckin' wall
To think all this time, I didn't have to fall
I can't reverse the clock, I'm truly all alone
What would he think, if he saw me grown?
Why couldn't they call, me up on the phone?
Mom and Dad I wish, that I had gone back home

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