Grandma cut the cheese
in the kitchen
I had to run
to the window quick
Grandma cut the cheese
in the kitchen
I had to get some air
or else be sick

Grandma cut the cheese
in the kitchen
You could tell it
all through the house
Grandma cut the cheese
in the kitchen
And it smelled
Just like an old, dead mouse

Well, she turned around
and I knew she was lookin'
for an innocent
party to blame
She was supposed to be
in there cookin'
Good thing she wasn't
too near the flame

Grandma cut the cheese
in the kitchen
oh, I tell ya
It really blew my mind
I never knew
it was comin'
It was one of
the silent, deadly kind

Grandma cut the cheese
in the kitchen
Can you imagine that?
Grandma cut the cheese
in the kitchen
It blew all the hair
off of the cat

Grandma cut the cheese
in the kitchen
It brought tears
To my eyes
It was worse
than nerve-gas poison
Birds were fallin'
dead from the skies

Grandma cut the cheese
in the kitchen
I'm tellin' ya
It was not good
I was gaggin'
and even thinkin'
We should evacuate
the neighborhood

Grandma cut the cheese
in the kitchen
I won't forget
that fateful day
They hauled grandma
off to prison
'Cause someone....
called up the EPA

------- Author's Notes -------

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