All This Time by Charmaine

All this time I’ve been trying,
To tell myself I don’t need you.
I almost damn near believed myself,
Until the instance you smiled at me again.

After such a long time,
It stinks to know I still love you.
You’re still the one I dream of at night,
The one who makes my heart beat fast.

I miss you so much it hurts,
But I have no choice but to deny my feelings.
I can’t show how much I want you,
Its just something that I cannot do.

I know I should try to move on with my life,
Cause you’re probably a memory to leave behind.
I hate myself for holding onto the past,
And for loving you so much still.

If I could turn back the hands of the clock,
I’d do anything to be with you again.
To be in your embrace once again,
And to hear you say “I love you” once more.

Terrie* (65.148.210.3) -- Monday, October 11 2004, 10:16 pm

Charmaine, i feel your words..
i find myself in this that you have written , but i must say i have no regrets, for if i regrt i would be denying the love i have for our children whom were conceived/born from that love.. i will admit it is difficult to let go of that love perhaps because he was the last man that held me in his arms. therefore he left that imprint in my heart and being a feeling and embrace i can not let go off, am i ready to let go? probably not..will i ever let go ? i really do not know . to premature to say..but eventually i will someday, when love embraces me..i too at times wish i could turn back time...

love your words

Ash (66.195.12.233) -- Tuesday, October 12 2004, 03:06 am

I feel ya...
I am definitely dealing with what your poem talks about. I just saw my ex the other day for the first time in over a month and he hugged me and all those feelings i had been tryin to forget rushed back at me. Hang in there!

`Xian (219.74.205.142) -- Wednesday, October 13 2004, 01:36 pm

Hanging..?
Hanging..definitely..but not when its been about more than a year? God.

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