Wake Up by Jayne Ashleigh

October is a solemn month,
With its leaves of falling gold
Something about me is VERY wrong,
But it seems that I was never told.

I am only one person,
How was I supposed to know?
To know your feelings to me were false,
But your internal ACCUSATIONS you decided not to show.

If what you wanted was HURT for me,
Well you did it quite well.
I thought that we were CLOSER than that,
And all your problems you could tell.

You said my attitude has changed,
And I have COUNTLESS imperfections.
But really, I don’t think you are one to talk
I just can’t make the connection.

Who did you feel you could call
In the middle of the lonely hours of the night,
To talk about problems that you had
When YOU and YOUR MAN had a fight?

I’m sorry I didn’t understand
All the “stages” YOU went though
I just didn’t really get it,
‘Cause it’s something I WOULDN’T do.

So maybe I did CARE,
About what others thought and said
I didn’t mean for them to be offensive
And I thought I kept them in my head

However, there is one little aspect
That doesn’t seem to fit the pace
Why did you WRITE OUT things so bad
Instead of tell them to my face?

This boy of interest,
I know you hated to see
But because I thought that you cared,
You might just SMILE and be HAPPY for me.

For the time he and I were together
We may have grown apart
But you could have TRIED to call too.
(That could have been a start.)

I think you were rather HYPOCRITICAL
By saying I was the one that lied
Arguments go both ways
It can’t be just one side

I guess what I am getting at
Is I have come to this conclusion
Maybe the “fake” wasn’t me
And you are the one living an illusion

2 of my best friends wrote a poem about me durning the months in my Senior year of High School. It was written over a year ago but I just found it in one of their profiles. I was hurt and sorry for how they say I acted but then realized that it wasn't just me that changed. So this is my reply to that certain poem.

Tip: If you have a problem with someone just let them know so you can work it out. Don't just sit with it and let it get worse. (or in my case-- not tell them and then a year later they just happen to find out how you really feel) I can't tell you what feels worse. What's better: I lie that draws a smile or the truth which draws a tear?

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