Untitled by Aubrey

What kind of life is this?
How much pain can one person take?
I feel as if my heart has been ripped in two,
a constant bleeding flowing through my empty body.
What is rock-bottom? How do you know when you've reached it?
Is it the mental feeling of loneliness inside
or is it the physical feeling of yearning for that last warm embrace and gentle kiss?
I want to walk in my room, shut the door, crumble into a million pieces, be swept under my bed, and hide there forever, preventing myself from ever feeling this heart ache again.
Isolate my collapsed heart from the outside world and keep it under lock and key.
I want to grab him and make him realize what he's missing out on.
Shake him and tell him how much he really means to me.
Work things out and have everything be wonderful and perfect again.
My mind tells my mouth to let it all out with one phone call, 3 simplistic words with so much significance and depth behind them...but my heart still lays in pieces concealed under my bed.
A steady struggle inside my weary body.
"Stay positive," but how can I be so positive when all I'm feeling is anguish, hurt, and pain?
Well on my way to hiding in my shell and becoming a mute.
Why do I feel like I'm dying off inside and when will it end?
One day I'm gonna lose the war.

jim (205.188.113.146) -- Friday, November 12 2004, 04:29 am

luv sux!
how can something so perfect turn into something so painful? aubrey, been there done that...i knowexactly how you felt....i know how the days get longer and the nights become quieter...i remember the ache in the chest and throat..and the moments of pure exhaustion. i remember the anger,hatred, excuses, reasoning and still the yearning to pick up the phone. i remember , boy do i remember....Peace!

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