Mask by Natalie Leer

This is probably how you see me
Kinda quiet but friendly.
If you see me around I’ll smile and wave
but I might not stop and talk.
If you talk to me I might smile and nod my head in agreement with what you’re saying
or shake my head with disapproval if someone has dared to argue with you
Not saying much, but always smiling.

My smile hides secrets. It hides fallen feelings. It imprisons my insecurity.
It is a mask of me.

This is how I see myself
Insignificant. Insecure. Shy... Stupid-Dark-Fat-Useless-Ugly.
A lot of the time I smile because I feel embarrassed – sorry.
I smile when you see me to show I have acknowledged you
but don’t stop to talk
because I feel I don’t deserve to.

Have you ever stopped to reflect
upon, how you feel about self-respect?

I am a woman. On stage. In front of an audience
When I can’t even bear to sit in front of a mirror.

Face to face... I don’t have much to say
yet pen to paper I can unleash my innermost thoughts
Ask me any question about how I feel
or about my private life
and I will give you an honest answer
I have nothing to hide
but I have nothing to say unless I know what you want to know about me
SOMETIMES I may have nothing...
nothing to say at all... Sorry.

For the sake of me telling you this I have taken off my mask of me
but I know I’ll feel the need to put it back on as soon as you talk to me.
Sorry.

I’m not being fake.
I am a soul.
I am a person.
I’m dealing with inner hurt, fear nervousness, embarrassment, and insecurity in the only way I know how.
I am honest with myself; I am honest with you when you want the truth.
Whether or not you wanted the truth about how I feel…
This is me – This-is-real

Ben F (81.100.175.39) -- Wednesday, February 2 2005, 10:20 am

no title
Great poem,so true.
Benx

A. (65.202.92.227) -- Thursday, August 16 2007, 04:05 pm

awsome
i canfeel the emotions and i understand how u feel

barb (67.58.207.130) -- Thursday, August 16 2007, 08:32 pm

great writing
I too don't have much to say face to face but boy I can put my thoughts and feelings on paper. I am a quiet person when it's a meeting.
But in my writing I have a big mouth. your writing of this made me stop and think. thank-you

Hope (203.59.119.107) -- Sunday, August 19 2007, 07:52 pm

Internal emotions
Internal emotions , wonderfully expressed. So often people smile on the outside and hide hurt within

title (203.115.175.8) -- Wednesday, July 15 2009, 09:00 am

worn mask
i like the way you express..very frank and direct to the point!!i could relate my situation on this masterpiece

Kyrae Patterson (213.205.194.167) -- Monday, February 27 2017, 04:20 pm

Actor
Someone gave me this monologue as a troubled teen. For the last 8 years this poem has passed all of my auditions through college to professional work. Thanks Natalie xx

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