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Sleeping Child
9 January, 2005
Author: Shaz

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Does the child hear you crying? Does she hear you weep?
Do you think she’s so quiet she must be sound asleep?
Don’t you know she’s wide-awake and hears your every fight?
Can’t you see she’s crying herself to sleep at night?

She doesn’t want to listen but she can’t help at all
She tries to cover up herself with something tight and small
She turns her head to face the wall she tries to shut it out
But she’s scared and frightened by every single shout

Eventually she is in a state she can take no more
She rushes out the edroom downstairs and in the door
She hope that it’s the TV that’s making all the noise
She pretends she’s come downstairs just to fetch her toys

"Why is Mummy crying Dad and why are you so mad"?
"What’s so wrong with both of you why’d you look so sad"?
"Why is Mummy bleeding Dad what’s running down her face"?
I’d seen this scene so many times I didn’t like this place

Why cant you be happy folk like I want you to be?
What is it that makes you fight is it something else or me?
Why cant you just sleep like me and lay in bed at night?
Why when I turn my back do both of you still fight?

I’m tired of the shouting I’m tired of the life
I’m sick of hearing make a choice her or kids and wife
I can’t take all the troubles I cant take it anymore
Please stop the screaming Mummy
I gently closed the door

I’m too small to help them I cant fix their pain
I’ll just go upstairs’ now and try to sleep again
I’ll dream of parent’s happy I’ll dream of things I like
I’ll think of Christmas coming and will I get that bike?

I’ll block out all the bad things and think of only smiles
I’ll pretend I didn’t hear Mums head against the tiles
I’ll make out I’m a pirate sailing on the sea
I'll go and wake my brother so he can play with me

I think its all gone silent I think they’ve gone to bed
They could be gently sleeping or what if Mummy’s dead
I’ll have to go and check again I can’t sleep well just yet
I’ll have to go downstairs just now I’ll never sleep just fret

I gently creep upon the stairs and listen at the door
Its just some gentle weeping there’s no shouting anymore
One day when I am bigger I’ll make them smile not sob
That will be my thing in life I'll make that just my job

So now that I am older I tried so hard to learn
I tried to block out everything to make a full swing turn
I want to push the hated thoughts to way back in the past
I thought I’d got it covered I thought that it would last

I am that small girl crying I am still lying here
Sometimes I still can’t sleep when loud voices I can hear
You’ll never feel what I feel you’ll never know the pain
I wish I could take you back and you could take my strain

I wish I hadn’t heard you I wish that wasn’t so
I wish you both could feel this, so Mum and Dad could know
This little girl is hurting she’s crying deep inside
This little girl is running she’s scared and wants to hide

I don’t ever want to be you, don’t want to be your child
I never want to be like you angry, cross and wild
I will show you parents, show you how you messed
I will treat my children good that’s my self-sat test

I won’t hate my partner I won’t shout and scream
He wont hit me either together were a team
I will love my children so and teach them what is right
But mostly I won’t let them cry themselves to sleep at night.

------- Author's Notes -------

i am 48 days into my sobriety and writing is my release.

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Comments on this poem/writing:

Britney (67.136.98.193) -- Monday, January 10 2005, 02:05 am

Great!

I love this poem!
LinzAy (4.27.186.183) -- Monday, January 10 2005, 06:46 am

.........

Wow....wonderful poem. Though, it does bring back some memories of my own...:( Congratulations on your sobriety..i'll pray for you and your family it lasts :) Keep up the great work!
Meridian (172.201.4.54) -- Monday, January 10 2005, 05:56 pm

Profound

Very good Shaz! Nice format and rhyming skills! I'll hope for the best for you and yours! P.S. Superb poetry! -Meri
joyce ivy (68.222.91.105) -- Monday, January 10 2005, 06:06 pm

Shaz

this is a great poem It hit home for me I have two little girls who have had to suffer from a father who drinks constantly we are divorced now and they just don't understand why he has to drink it is so hard on kids when adults allow their lives to be torn apart by alcohol and drugs. We no longer live in it and have for a few years but still they suffer because they love him..but he's hardly ever around if your poem is true I wish you all the luch in your sobriety just hang in there and do your best need a friend private message me anytime. great poem. and writting is the best releases for a lot of things. good luck. my prayers are with you..joyce
The Lost Girl (205.188.116.71) -- Monday, January 10 2005, 11:43 pm

Marvalous

You're poem is amazing.If only you knew how closely this hit to some of our, or my, home. You have captured things that I have wanted to say for so long. It's a poem like this that tells why I write the poems I write now. I think you did a marvalous job on this, and it's one that shows that it's not only the parents who suffer from their fighting or abuse. Absolutly amazing. Also, Good luck. - The Lost Girl
Aimee *aka* bubz (202.89.42.150) -- Tuesday, January 11 2005, 07:18 am

WOW

i love your poem!!!awesome writting!!!
 
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