It felt so good, felt so right
Having you whisper to me in the night
I felt so loved just having you there
Away from other people, away from their stares
I felt really rebellious our little secret
Hiding from my parents was like an outlet
One day you leaned in my window so close
On my lips you planted, I would boast
To my jealous friends
Then had no men
To speak about that came in the night
No men to tell them they were beautiful sights
I remember the first night I let you in
You climbed in my window, was that a sin
You smiled at me and I felt all was well
You could never tell I’d soon be in hell
You’d kiss my tenderly and caress my cheek
No one knew it would change in weeks
You started wanting more than I had to give
I told you that I had a life to live
I could risk anything to go wrong
You said it was fine, that I was your world
But you guessed you have to find a new girl
That upset me and I began to cry
But you didn’t care I was dying inside
I told you we could go farther and I let you
I was so ashamed of all the stuff that we’d do
One day you wouldn’t stop when I said no
All I could do is let you go
And wait for all the pain to end
I thought you were my very best friend
I tried hard and tried to resist
Until you hit me with your fist
As soon as you were done I screamed
You’re more disgusting than you seemed
I made you get out and slammed the window shut
Now I’m stuck in a rut
Should I tell what you took away
What I think about night and day
I hate you now don’t you see
Why can’t you keep away from me
You still come to my window every night
I hide under my bed trembling in fright
Wishing you’d just go away
So I could keep the nightmares at bay
You are my nightmare, my only fear
You didn’t care when I shed tears
One day you’ll leave me alone
And I’ll feel safe again at home
But my window you still come to
Can’t you see I’m sick of you
Never should have let you come in
Never should have committed that sin
Thought it was great, thought it was cool
Didn’t think I was a fool
What was I thinking about when
In the beginning when it began
Oh, now I remember, I thought you loved me
Thought you were the guy made for me
Now I see that’s not true
Because love is not fearing you
I do not speak, I have no friends
On you now my life depends
I can’t speak and I hide
Because inside me a shadow resides
I hate you but you don’t care
And I just don’t dare
To tell anyone what you did
Because long now I have hid
It from everyone and you made it seem
Like you dumped me and you deemed
Me as jealous and wanting you back
And everyone else seems to lack
The vision to see what conspired there
And now I get the same old stares
I used to get every day
Before you whisked me away
But I don’t care it soon will end
Death will be my only friend
This note I live to my mom
So she will understand at the dawn
When she comes to wake me up for school
How could she not noticed that you ruled
My life everyday for so long
Never knew it was so wrong
Does not matter, like the setting sun
This letter is over, my life is done
Good-bye cruel world
That could not see this innocent girl
Be so hurt, be so torn
Be so sad and forlorn
But it does not matter, not at all
Now the world will watch me fall
Goodbye to the window that cause me so much pain
And I tape the note to the glass, as it rains
Because that’s where it started after all
No one could see him when he would crawl
Up to my windowsill and in my room sit
My room would become my crypt
So I say goodbye and I love you all
But now into my death I fall

------- Author's Notes -------

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