Decoration by Holly

Maybe the reason I'm hurting myself,
Is because hurting is all I know how to do.
At least this pain I can control,
At least it's not coming from you.

With monochromatic vision,
I sit here on the floor.
And make the next incision,
No hope left anymore.

I've got no promises left to keep,
Not even to myself.
I can feel myself going in too deep,
I'm too far gone for help.

The power inside me rises up,
As I decorate my skin.
But the flower inside me withers away,
Reality spread so thin.

Everyone's always hurt me,
So I might as well do it too.
Emotions ablaze, I feel so alive,
And yet I'm dying too.

Taylor James (81.135.234.51) -- Thursday, April 28 2005, 09:30 pm

no title
hey holly, this poem hit me as ive been through this myself,but you should try not to hurt yourself as if you do who can you rely on,now some people may say i should take my own advice but it doesnt help you if you cut,well for me when i cut i somtimes get confused about my life and i just get worse, so what im trying to say is try not to harm yourself ok

Angel in Tears (81.157.144.74) -- Friday, April 29 2005, 12:06 am

Holly...
This is an absolutely beautifully and well explanatory piece of writing. The first stanza, in my view, explains it all...the reasons for cutting, the reason for wanting to do it. Not so long ago, the only thing that I could think about was the same things in your third stanza. However, something is changing. Maybe because I had someone die who was loved very much by me, and subconsciously, I didn't want that to happen to me, as of the pain that would be caused. Yet, from time to time, I do 'decorate' :p my skin. Habits die hard, but with time they will. And just purely because people hurt you, that doesn't mean you should! Feel the opposite. The more they hate, the more make the love for yourself grow! Each morning you wake up, say the words to yourself, “I love myself" and mean them. Sending you this with all the happiness I know off so you would feel better girl

Holly (217.134.96.66) -- Wednesday, May 4 2005, 07:13 pm

...
Thanks for your kind words :) But honestly, if I was capabe of loving myself for who I was, I wouldn't be in this mess. But thanks.

Terrie* (65.148.210.73) -- Wednesday, May 4 2005, 07:46 pm

Holly,
Holly, i'm sharin' some honest words w/you ,sweetie,look deep into the core of yourself( which is the heart of your soul) you'd be surprised to find a person sooooo deep inside,you never knew existed, you are a very special individual,someones daughter, grandaughter, someones bestfriend, perhaps someones sister,you are unique and as individual as what you may not believe to think, you have a powerful mind and i can sense you have a lovin' heart, start by lovin' yourself first,your an inspiration ,especially to someone unknown that searches for you, i am a mom, when i read this i could understand your reason, yet my heart hurt when i read each word ,don't allow tears to fall ..unless you are able to feel them fall upon your flesh, let those tears be of something good.i'm not tellin' ya how to live or change your life. i'm just remindin' ya that, ya have your whole life ahead of ya, search for a dream and make that dream become a part of you and hep it come true, many of us have dreams, sometimes it is difficult to chase each dream down ,but...within reason we are the only ones that cain make them come true..good luck sweetie..your gonna make it.

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