It was cold. Her pale fingers fidgeted with each other, and there was no control for the temporary obsession. Her center-line heartbeat was numb and racing at triple time, her life felt nothing less and nothing more than a lie. She lifted her bloodshot icy blue eyes towards the moonlit sea, and took an uneven deep breath. There were lights in the distance, land stars she thought. Stars of the land, the freedom, the wealth, the pleasure, accomplished goals… her heart skipped a beat. ‘I’ve seen this all before’ she whispered. Somewhere, in the shadows of her mind, beneath the many pages of her strangest dreams, thirteen pages of dream became a familiar blurred reality. Scribble, colors, grey, black. The darkness was almost blinding, not to the eye but to the captive spirit that longed to be set free from this mortal realm. Her eyelids fell and caressed her eyes, and she silently prayed to be set free from the state she had promised never to fall into again. The distance she had climbed out of the deep lonely hole was worth far more than the easy freefall to the bottom. The strength and wisdom gained along the way would be stripped from her mind if she was to enjoy the fuzzy, dismantled feeling in her body. An unsettling voice appeared in the back of her mind, they don’t love you – you cant make it without them. A tear slipped down her cheek, she asked herself if she had always been this self rejecting. Look at what I’ve become. She placed her left hand in her right hand, if no one will hold my hand I’ll hold my own…