Gazing out the window, I stare at the soft blue sky, filled with patches of white
Tears fall from my bloodshot eyes, and run down my red, itchy cheeks
Wishing I were away from this dysfunctional place they call a home
Somewhere isolated, some place peaceful
The only sound would be the sounds of crashing waves, and sea gulls in the distance
Where the sun fills the sky with warmth and beauty, highlighting its surroundings
A place I could actually call HOME
MY home, MY own resort, MY beauty..
Sadness fills me, as I wipe the tears that continue to run
A feeling of anger emerges, a feeling of hate reaches the surface
As the bangs and screams erupt in the background, I try to ignore it all and relax
I need to calm myself before I do something stupid, and regretful
Before I get upset, and speak MY MIND for once
That will never happen though, for I am the weak one who wants to keep the peace
The one who sits back in his own black, dreary, muted existence with no guts
No guts to stick up for himself, no words of wisdom to go by, or follow
The only words that replay in my problem clustered mind, are “Shut the fuck up!”
“Keep the peace” and “Mind your own business!”
Afraid, afraid of the outcome in which my gutsy little soul may bring to everyone
Everyone who cares for me, remember? “Family” remember?
Losing my grip on reality, I now dream of an evil, fiery abyss where devils dance
A place where there are no souls, no feelings; a hell
Where death blossoms in its world of no existence, where death is considered beauty
A world where fitting in, or blending in the social scene doesn’t matter
Where you can be what you want to be, there are no assholes taking over
No assholes ruining what you think is a perfect, magnificent, painting of life
The innocence flows like a water fall, through its hell-like environment
What seems like a hell, seems like a heaven, A perfect world…
Nothing matters in this anger driven, yet beautiful dwelling
Gazing out the window, I dream…

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