I'm sorry to bother anyone, but I'm seeking help....

[The lost girl]

I know that this is slightly odd considering I know none of you, but I'm seeking help.

If you've read or briefed over any of my poems on the Dreamer site, which by the way is wonderful, then you know that I am not the happiest fifteen year old on the face of the earth. Quite the contrary- I could possibly be one of the most depressed young girls as of today. But that being besides the point, I've cut myself for the past three years and as you know, quitting a well-liked and long practiced habit is unmercifully difficult. Along with that, I am amazingly addicted to large amounts of prescribed pills. They, for a short period of time, take away everything under the sun and leave me in a state of... imagined joy.

I understand and am admitting that I need help, but my absolute worse quality is I can not discuss my emotions with people. It's difficult and I avoid it at any cost. I'm considering asking... someone other than a person of my age to help me, but I'm not sure how to approach this subject- me being a very quiet and self-conscious person. I'm always afraid that they will consider me different or look down on me, or that they'll handle it in a horrible way. I'm scared to even think about telling my parents. They aren't the most understanding parents and... they already have alot going on seeing as how they fight constantly, so I've decided not to bother them with my unimportant and pitiful problems. I normally would not even dream of asking any one of you for some type of advice, but I have hit the bottom, living life anymore sounds pointless, and I'm quite desperate.

Thank You-
The Lost Girl

[bingholic98]

I don't know how to help other than tell you who I turned to . I talked to a police officer and told him I didn't know where to go . He set up all the connections I needed. They are there to help serious people that want help. Good luck hope this works for you I'm a 52 year old, but was a 15 yearold troubled child.

[Dreamer]

I know sometimes letting a stranger hear about your problems thoughts dreams and fears is something scarey all in itself. But if you really want help you have to ask for it. At first it will be hard to talk to someone but after you have found someone to confide in it will be easier. A minister, school counslor, adult friend.

Nothing against people your own age trying to help you but most everyone your age is going through some sort of an identity locating of their own. The Teen years are very hard for everyone. I was an outcast when I was a teen too. Feeling like I didn't really fit in anywhere. Until I realized I was the only one who I had to count on trust and love. Then I began to do what I needed to take care of myself. If you are scared or shy to talk to people try the self help section at a local bookstore there are many books there that can help.

I read and realized that the worlds problems could not be fixed by me only thing I could fix or change was myself and other people had to be responsible for their own behaviors. The books were there that helped me find out why I felt the way I did and told me I wasn't so different and that what I was feeling was not totally unique that others also felt as I did. I guess sort of like the poetry here written by others.

Books can really open your eyes...
and we are always here for you...

[Martin Vann]

Lost Girl,

You are doing the right thing, you have a situation and unlike many others, you don't sit and wine, you are off your butt and seeking a solution. to maturity and woman-hood. At this point, I congratualte you. You are taking and seeking futher steps into the future and not walking back-wards, inti the past!. So, don't you see, you have already, come a long way, you know a problem exists and you are trying to help yourr self, which consist of your heart and soul, and may I say, these are among, the best friends, that will ever come along.

So, that is why I congratulate you, young lady, you are on your way into the future and let me say, with the attituded you have displayed, your future will be a wonderful and life full-filling place. It is my pleasure and with respect for you, at just fifteen, its obvious, you have not given up on your self, you have value for the world, glade to know there are young women like you in this world, plaeas not, I said young woman, not girl for you have grown to that level by seeking assistance and understanding from others, who have been where you are yet, with different circumstances involved, I offer you congratualations and your life will rise, as if a star, as long as you are strong enough to seek the help of friends.

Now, let me say, I never heard of you until a poet friend told me about you. So, you see, our support for you is growing, and I never heard your name,until you reached another poet on this site, who told me about you.

I am much older than you, still I let the child I once was live in my heart and remind of so, many things when I was young, that includes my parents and I had a feww step-mothers and fathers, yet I survied. Went to Viet Nam, made home and joined the police department and that was alot of life passing by.

Now, I operate my own business and sometimes I look back at the strangest things, like when as a kid, a friend showed me the first transiter radio I had seen. The song that was playing called "Yakkety Yak, Don't Don't Talk Back." That was a hit in my day, so you see, things never really, change.

Now, if, you desire, you can consider me as your old, really, older brother, who has just come home from over there and you can speak with me in confidence anytime you like. You have not been specific about why you cut yourself, its obvious, that is not the solution nor medications. You need to cut into your soul and share with your old brother, more about what is bother you.

I offer me to you, because you offered yourself to us, now, don't you think you can take one more step, let's call it trust, I'm here for you as much as I can be, and will never betray what you may share.

MV
P.S.
I'm already impressed and proud of you.

[The lost girl]

I thank you all for your support and concern, as well as the time you took to reply. Each of your words is helping me greatly. It's comforting to know that there are people, even if they are not near, that are willing to help and listen.

Thank You Again,
The Lost Girl.

[RinRin]

Hi Lost Girl,

I find your poetry very interesting - each of them are about the exact same subject, yet you are able to distinguish each of them into different sub-categories of that subject. None of them are in fact very alike, even though they are about the same thing! That's just cool. Not very many people can do that. So there's a talent you probably didn't know you possessed!

Just wanted to say that .

Now listen. There are millions of teenagers out there who feel exactly as you do right now. They are feeling lonely, helpless, confused, almost asleep to the real world, living in another one. I used to feel the same way. I used to feel that this world wasn't real, it couldn't be real, because it was so cruel. I created another world, and lived in that one while everyone else went on about their lives happy and content in the real world. I couldnt' understand how they could be happy. But I do now. You have to find something or someone to replace your fears and anxieties. I, for one, have my poetry, so I can vent out my feelings to this real, real world. I also have my soon-to-be husband whom I can relate to and tell anything to. That is what you need: you need to be able to find someone to talk to, and yes, someone you know very well. Now I'm like you - I wouldn't suggest talking to your parents at this point, especially since it seems like they have problems of their own. Is there anyone else in your family that you could confide in? Are there any friends you have that may be able to comfort you? But of course, like Martin Vann said, we don't exactly know your situation, so the advice we give must be generic and broad in some pretty big ways. But take the advice to heart, really take it, because believe me, these people on Dreamer's have also helped me tremendously simply with their heartfelt words. And they're not just spewing words to make you happy. They really are trying to help. It's what I love about them! So take it all in, girl, like a sponge, and I truly hope for the best for you.

With lots of hope,
*RinRin*

[rubydragon]

Hey, I went through the same sort of thing, only difference is I am male. I unfortunately did tried to end it, several times. Then I found out my sister was cutting herself and taking pills to get out of this planet. When I found this out, I stopped because I didn't want my sister to go down the same road as me, and was the only one she could turn to because I had been there.

The only advice I can give is make sure 100% that the person you turn to understands, my parents didn't, my sisters doctor and pyschiatrist didn't, because they hadn't been there.

She admitted that turning to me helped her because I knew why she did what she did and what she was going through.

Don't turn to someone who is still there, they cannot help. But someone who has been there and has stopped, can.

We are always here if you need us, and if you ever need me all ya need to do is message me. You are in my thoughts and heart. I hope things work out.
xxxx

[Leah06]

Lost girl,
im not sure what i have to say will help at all, the 5 dreamers who have already comented have all said what i was intending to say, but i guess i will give my imput as well. like you, i also found dreamers when i was sad, and depressed, and in need of something to keep me grounded, i felt like i was going to fall off the face of the planet and no one would notice, and the sad thing was, i didnt care. i am young, like yourself, and i am also a female so i have a fresh memory of what it was like, im still going through some of it. Through i never cut or took pills, i have always been self consious. and truthfully, i have a terrible self esteem. you did a great thing by asking for help here, there are so many people you can meet and talk to. i have made a family here, as i am sure you will as well. i cant really offer you much advice, i agree with ruby, the best person to turn to would be somone who has gone through it and overcome it all. but i can offer you my friendship, i am a great listener, and i have had alot of experiences with friends and family who has gone through what you are going through now. If in any time you ever need to talk, send me a private message, i usually check everyday and when i dont, i am usually out of town. i hope you find comfort in this family we have here on dreamers, every one of them are fantastic and wonderful people. good luck, and my best wishes to you.

much love,
Leah K.
(or just 06... or Leah06, it doesnt matter, i respond to alot of names )

[Faith]

I wanted to let you know I had a problem with cutting myself and sometimes in all honesty I tend to slip up...so I understand how hard it can be to quit that all together. I wanted you to know I find your poems very interesting and I can relate to a lot of them. There is one thing I learned that no matter what live may throw at you...there is always ways of overcoming them. You did the first most important step and that was reaching out and asking peeps for help. So I wanted to let you know if you ever need someone to talk to don't be shy to drop me a line. Take care and God Bless!

~Hugs~
Faith

P.S. Always remember there is always a positive to ever negative situation just keep a open mind and I believe you can deal with anything that comes your way.

[Princess Moon]

Hey Lost Girl, how are you? My Nick name is Princess Moon and I think that I cannot only help, but also Someone else very close to me. I'm not 15, but I'm 17 and pretty close to your age, so I thought I could give you some of my help. I see you're going through something that's absolutely terrible for someone your age to go through and I'm concerned for need. I am going to be honest, I have not gone through your kind of situation...but please hear me out. I probably don't know how it feels to go through something like being addicted to cutting yourself (which is so tragic for us teens), but I do know what it is to hit rock bottom so hard and so fast, you have nowhere else to look...but up. Thats where I think I can relate to you the most. Although I have been blessed in growing up in a wonderful family with a supportive background, I've had my ups and downs to where not even my family could help. There have even been things, not bad things, but certain things that I have never told my family about when I know they could have had something to say about it. But there are such things, like your situation, to where you have nowhere to look but up, and to no one else...because its probably that you feel no other human being can help you -other than with getting their best advice , which is very good like Faith said. Well, Lost girl, whoever you are, I feel so sad for you I could almost cry. But the reason I do not cry is because I know Hope, I know Someone Who can help give you back your life and your life more abundantly. I don't know if you believe in God, but I whole-heartedly do. Now before you think I'm gonna go all religious on you, I want to say that religion has nothing to do with it. Call it what you may, but I do promise that this is not to go into forcing you to believe in Catholic practice, Buddha, or whatever. Even as a Christian, I do not FORCE you to believe in my "religion" either-because once again, religion has nothing to do with it. Lost girl, I want to INTRODUCE you to my Father....God. Please stay on me with this...He is there whether you choose to believe in Him or not. As a matter of fact, He's there always and forevermore. He's the same yesterday, today, and forever. But Lost girl, what I really want to say is that in my advice...I want you to take a chance to Give it all to Him. Seriously, He can help you in this and any situation that tortures you so. You have an advesary/an enemy who is out to get you and drive you up the wall till he's got you right where he wants you. This enemy is known as the Father of Lies and he is out to kill, steal, and destroy you at every cost. But that can all change if you just get down on your knees right now, and ask God to please help you, and to help you fight this battle that comes from within. You have to give God your request in order for him to do anything for you. And if you truly want to be set free from those shackles that hold you down to cutting yourself, than like I said, there's no where to look but up. And up is looking straight to Him. God, Almighty Father, Jehovah Jirah!I've seen His miracles take place in my family through prayer when it came to death, inner struggle, and hardship, and I know what kind of God I serve. He wants to help you and He's there to fight for you if you're willing to give your situation-your life to Him. And although I can't promise that you won't continue to run into more situations like or worse than your current one, I can tell you that He promises to always fight your battles and to always protect you from such an enemy. And if you want to give your life to Him, just follow the ABC's of Salvation. A-Admit you are a sinner and that you want to be set free. B-Believe that Jesus died on the cross for you and ask to be forgiven because of the blood of Christ. And C-Commit yourself to giving your whole life to Him, and to allowing the Holy Spirit run in your life through all situations and all joys. I will be praying for you, you can count on it. I know that you can give it to Him as well. All it takes is a simple prayer from your heart to get God working to help you get out of this situation. Just please, give it to Him, and I know you'll get an answer! So just consider your sister in Christ...your friend.

God Bless You Greatly...Princess Moon...aka Crystal